Once upon a time, in a hut far into the woods, there lived a little boy called Comma. He had a curl in his cap, a spring in his step and a lot of envy for his two elder brothers. The eldest brother was called Period. He was ponderous and slow, and hated it when Comma ran in circles around him. Comma was jealous that Period always got the final word in any matter. And then, there was the middle brother, Semicolon. Since he hardly ever spoke unless spoken to, Semicolon gave out an air of profound thoughtfulness wherever he went. And that is what made Comma look upon Semicolon with a bit of awe. "Wow", he would tell himself. "He speaks rarely, but when he does, he can snap stuff into two. Without killing them off like Period does."
So what was it, actually, that Period did that annoyed Comma so? It was the fact that whenever Period said "Hey, here I come", things would stop. Immediately. People would have to begin afresh. Pick themselves up, don an upper case and continue. This was totally against Comma's firmly held belief - never make people change their cases unless they really really want to. Lower cases were lighter to lug around, and merged well with others. Upper cases? Well, now they were a different ballgame altogether - they towered over others, gave others an inferiority complex, and even sprouted shoots and leaves just for effect. No, upper cases were definitely not on the list of Comma's favourite things. The last time an upper case had stood next to Comma in the queue, it looked down its nose at Comma, sniggered, and said, "I represent Proper Noun".
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"Not only proper nouns, I begin a whole new sentence" adding insult to injury. Comma was aghast at such haughtiness on the part of the upper case.
The king of the land ordered that from then onwards every written word should be only in upper case as it was so highly placed in the scheme of things. Only space was allowed and no other bothersome punctuations. Everybody agreed readily as it would be easier to write in one case and upper one at that! When everyone started writing, it was such fun and frolic all around. Nobody bothered with the reading part of it. After all of them got tired of writing, someone started reading slowly. After a while the first one thought that he had some problem with his eyes as he was not able to read properly. Everybody made fun of him. " You are getting old! Get your eyes checked. You may have to wear glasses. Chashmish!". But the second person too had similar problems. Some more tried to read and then they all realized that it is very difficult to read if everything is in upper case and without comma, semi colon etc. They all went and prayed to the king....
In the mean time, the neighbouring kings started sniggering…
"All writing in upper case? Good grief! What else will he think of next?”, said one. "King UpperCasium seems to have gone fruity", thought another.
"Oh! Mom, wouldn't it be fun if all of us were to talk in uppercase alone?", said a princess and started practising her speech for the annual Rose Show in upper case. The queen just could not tolerate this. “That is quite enough. I think it’d be fun too if little princesses were to speak in blanks”
I am going to continue
It was a stupendous looking living- room in a palatial house, where Mr.Colon sat. Under him were half a dozen attendants serving him eats and drinks. Whenever he spoke, he had a number of points to make. Mr.Colon spent all his time introducing people to others. People would dread to speak to him because he sounded formal and stiff unlike his cousin, Comma. Mr. Colon was a 'complete man'. He never liked anything incomplete nor did he leave anything half way through. He tolerated upper cases provided they were 'Proper nouns'. Well, he allowed people to change cases when they wanted to start afresh. He was a typical member of the 'curls and dots' family sharing the genes of slow and ponderous Period, profound and thoughtful Semicolon,and of course, a little bit of Comma.
Comma, the kid-cousin, could not only help being tentative and hesitant, but is rather pleased with himself for being “thought provoking”. The little boy firmly believed in the proverb he wrote several times in his copy writing note books, “Think before you ink”.
He is not quite wrong. Whenever Comma entered a room, people would pause and look at him expectantly to hear the new and interesting things he would say. People would not always expect something to look forward to when the eldest brother, Period, entered. They tended to turn back and go rather than linger around and wait. This gave the little boy quite an ego boost.
Period disagrees – “Oh, Comma you always throw a spanner in the works. You come with your associates Nevertheless, Still, However, But, Yet and all such boys, and change the scenario. It irks others so…”, said Period. “Brother, but, I only…” started Comma. “See, exactly what I said. Why can’t you let others say something and leave them in peace?” Comma thought “Period always wants to have the last word on anything.”, and said “I believe in considering Pros and Cons.
“Oh, gosh, who are they now?”, piped in Semicolon. “And, anyway, I don’t always bring my friends.”, he said to Period. “I think my friends and I give new ideas. People do find them interesting”, he added.
“That is quite enough. We need not argue further.”, said Period. Once again, with authority and leaving no chance to further comments...
Colon, meanwhile, was unhappy.
He liked giving parties, but the last party had been a disaster. And, all because of King Uppercasium. At the annual Rose Show that year, the Uppercases ahd run amock, and since Comma and his troupe thought Uppercases to be a pain, they had stood in a corner and minded their business. Period had not quite been able to contain the Uppercase Rally, and Semicolon hardly got in a word edgewise. Finally, when Princess broke her teeth after being an Uppercase battery, King thought he'd had enough. He exiled the Uppercases, and decreed that, henceforth, only Lowercases were to be around.
So, why did that play party pooper for Colon? Well, because he found it increasingly difficult to introduce Items to others. Last time, the Items of the Order family had gone and sat around with Items of Unorder; and people hadn't been able to tell the difference. Then, an Item had gone and crashed into NextSentence because NextSentence had worn a lowercase.
"It's all because Period stayed away", thought Colon. "Had period been around, Item would have known that this is where NextSentence stands, and wouldn't have done a run-in."
So, thought Colon, he could have another party where he could introduce his brothers and cousins to everyone else.
He sent out the invites...and then realised that he had a seating problem. Comma refused to sit next to Period, for example, and Period wanted Space beside him but Space was being unreasonable and would go sit next to EmDash only...
While Colon was having a tricky time, he got a phone call. Far from feeling disturbed, he welcomed it.
"Could I speak to you for a moment?" Colon was surprised that the caller did not identify herself. But, this being a call from a girl, he was too curious to cut the call short. "Umm, may I know who it is?" "I'd tell you, but could you give me your word that you'd not reveal our conversation to any one?"
A quick surge of anger passed through Colon. But, because of the quiet self assurance that could be sensed from the caller's voice, Colon decided to be indulgent for a while more. He said "Yes..., Now, may I know who you are?"
The caller said, "I". “Ok, my dear girl, you must admit that I have been quite patient with you. I do admit that I am the one to introduce people and so on, but expecting me to introduce you to yourself is a tad too demanding. Would you introduce yourself now? And also could you come straight to the point?”
“Very sorry Mr. Colon, I really am. I did introduce myself. I am I.” She then quickly added, after hearing a hiss from Mr. Colon, “My name is I”.
Colon comprehended after a couple of seconds. Remorse swept him, and he was all apologies. I felt shy. In fact, she was rather hesitant to call Colon for her personal problems. Finally I said “Look, the king decreed an exile on all Upper Cases. While I do not see the sense of this, I can understand that kings need not make sense; they only need to make rules. But, though I am a descendant of the Upper Case family, the Queen made me a special servant of hers, and I am not just any Upper Case. I am I. If I go into exile…”
Colon said immediately, “My dear girl, I understand your problem quite clearly. While I cannot give an instant solution, I will call you in a while. Relax.”
Mr. Colon took his time; a real long one. You can't blame him though.
A nice girl, I, Queen English's special servant has a problem. And who does she go to (no, no, to whom does she go)? Mr. Colon.
Naturally, when Colon calls back I, it has to be with a neat little solution. Colon did not want to admit his enthusiasm, to even himself when he is alone, that it is because I happen to be a nice girl with a sweet voice.
Colon put himself to the task. His assistants Mrs. and Mr. Greycell had a lot to complain about. His servant Mr. Stomach also was also complaining about all the muck he had to handle in the name of nourishment to the Greycells. Eventually it all ended happily.
Mr. Colon used the Curls and Dots family connections with King Upper Casium. It was not easy since he had to retract his ruling, but without appearing to do so.
King Casium made the following rules:
All the members of the Curls and Dots family have to live by rules and cooperate with each other.
When big brother Period comes, people should pick themselves up, don an upper case and begin afresh.
The kid brother Comma is a wise boy, and people are expected to be indulgent to him and his associates. The other members Colon and Semicolon, and the Quotes do their jobs with due diligence. The associates of Comma
King UpperCasium announced ‘The Nouns family have to cooperate with Curls and Dots family in making the King’s subjects happy by not creating any confusion and bringing clarity”. King UpperCasium thought that he worded this ultimatum particularly well since he did not have to explicitly nullify his previous rule in saying that people need not don upper case all the time.
The little boy Comma chuckled to himself quietly, and Still, Nevertheless, However and others gave high fives and pumped their fists, thus setting a trend of exhibiting vindication.
Queen English smiled gracefully and I got an ego boost. She thought “Glory be! I don’t want to be special, but imagine Queen’s special servant being like commoners, especially the Nouns would have gloated so much if it were not prevented’
The little princess felt disappointed, but it was only for an instant. She got an idea and ran to her father, King UpperCasium. Papa, [she never addressed him as King], Papa Papa, can we send for the Dashes this Sunday? Aunt EmDash is so nice, and Hyphen is such fun.
The King had a nasty suspicion. It didn’t seem to bode good news. He remembered hearing her practising her speech in the royal garden for the Annual Rose Show.
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